Marky Mark, George Clooney, the obligatory 2 hicks and the other soldier guy who's in every war movie

So we had to watch "Three Kings" and observe the violations of IHL, and blog them from coast to coast. So I did, having returned from a most bizzare weekend in Maryland: best friend's birthday with concurrent family emergency. Before I enbark on listing some 20-odd items, I just want to share some impressions.

1) War is complicated. And so, even with the best of intentions (or at least not atrociously dishonourable intentions), bad things happen. So I understand how IHL gets broken even by (mostly) upstanding world citizens: the rules sound straight forward and obvious, but applying them to real-world situations is tricky. When is it correct to bazooka a fortified compound? What are the ramifications of self-exploding cattle? Further, military action is situationally complex-- lots is going on and little is clear at any one time, but you have to decide and act in the meantime. (This is why I no longer work in catering, except in war there's no recouperation period while the bride and groom give toasts)

2) Why are more reporters not used for target practice? Lord have mercy, they're an irritating bunch, inventing things to be excited about and calling it "news." Seriously, who thinks it necessary that reporters be "embedded" with troops in the field? They're dead weight and a security risk, giving out important information as to troop movements and such. One lesson from the Gulf War was that Saddam Hussein was watching CNN too. "Loose lips sink ships"-- it's not just a WW2 slogan.

(Saddam watching CNN goes something like this:
Embedded reporter: "Good morning Chet. I'm reporting with Coalition troops about 2km north of Axmaxaxaxaxax, in the eastern province. We're staying in the green tents and have cleverly hidden our gate between some scruby hills.... oh ****, there's a SCUD missle coming our way!! How did they know!?!?!?!?!?! "
*static*)

(I also feel this way about reporters and "news" programs domestically-- the media is creating an economic mess as we speak now, by creating panic over a stock market hiccup. Maybe countries in poorer stages of devlopment have it right in limiting panic-inducing reporting on the economy. Just a thought.)

3) At the very end, I almost got all teary about how George Clooney was like an Oscar Schindler in the desert, leading his people away from the wicked, murderous regime. *sniff* (Oh right. I don't cry at movies. But if I did... um... no. still, no.)

Moving on. Here's my list of things I believe are or may be violations of IHL.

1. Not aiding a wounded enemy soldier but taking a photo instead.
2. Screaming and yelling at POWs in English. Ok, so POW camp is not the Hilton and one doesn't need to be polite to them, but trying to communicate with them in their own language might help calm them down and make them do what you want. It might not be a violation of IHL but it's frustrating and counter-productive, and could lead to (more serious) violations.
3. plotting to steal plundered gold and goods that may have been the subject of reparations agreements (granted, the plot of the movie, but that doesn't make it right!)
4. Not repatriating/properly and respectfully disposing of the dead
5. destroying livestock (though I think the cow stepped on something and went boom)
6. breaking into houses to look for treasure. I don't think there are 4th amendment protections in IHL but it makes the locals hate you
7. Iraqi soldiers taking provisions from children and civilians
8. Iraq set the Kuwaiti oil wells on fire as they retreated. Some people might consider this an environmental crime--- the oil still pollutes the environment 15 years later. (I remember watching the burning wells on TV after the liberation)
9. The American 4-some entering Iraq without authorization. I'm sure there's some kind of procedure for that.
10. Iraqi torture of prisoners/civilians (Shiite rebels?)
11. the Iraqis' fondness for looting from Kuwait
12. Arbitrary killing of civilians by Iraqis
13. Perhaps the use of tear gas, though that depends on who is asked
14. The Iraqis want to shoot Marky Mark when they capture him
15. the Americans for aiding an insurgency?
16. Electrotorture of Marky Mark
17. the Iraqi interrogator of Marky Mark torturing him in revenge for the war damage?
18. Forcing Marky Mark to swallow oil
19. pretending to be a head of state in order to take a compound
20. the near refoulement of refugees at Iranian border, until George saves the day and Marky Mark.

Enjoy!